Protocol

Should the ability of one's residents to stand on the right and walk to the left on an escalator be a requirement for membership into the EU?

The Great Capitalist Tease!

It's true.

Forget tyranny of consumption, it's all about the tyranny of the taunt. Unfilled consumer desire either because you can't afford it, or because it's just not there. Consumptive mirages.

What am I talking about, you might ask? Cable freaking television is what I am talking about, that's what! Went to T online to take them up on their heavily advertised offer of cable tv through their mobile network. You get a big dish to hang out your flat window that looks like a satellite dish (cos nothing screams "foreigner" more than a satellite-looking dish in Europe!) and about 25 channels that include CNN and BBC, which is why I want it in the first place. And all for a low, low price of $15 per month, $10 if you have a landline (cheap!). The package also includes channels like Animal Plant and Discovery, where sometimes you get "Untamed and Uncut" with a Hungarian voice over, and other times you get "From Underdog to Wonderdog" in it's pure form...but I digress. My point is that it doesn't matter what they offer, because you can't actually get it.

Like everything in Hungary, you sign a lot of papers, that subsequently get stamped, and complete a lot of forms. Except in this case, four days later you get the call that opps! there aren't any dishes left in the country but you are in a queue - we'll be back with you in about three weeks, which in Eastern Europe time means 3 months. Now, the reason I am engaged in such a whiny, snobbish, ex pat rant is because my prime motivation for said dish is Obama! I want to catch the fever LIVE! as it happens next Tuesday. I want to watch everyone shiver outside in the freezing DC cold as we wait for the speech of a lifetime, I want to watch and get all misty eyed as Obama takes the oath of office, I want to watch scary OC preacher man and pretend I'm not horrified by his presence on that stage. I even want to see The Boss! And the commentary. Oh the commentary! What will Anderson Cooper have to say? What sage and thoughtful analysis will the BBC offer? What clips with the Germans and Hungarians show? What will Michelle Obama wear? (I know, shoot me for asking that, but it's true! I want to see!) All this and more! Bring it on!

But I can't bask in the glory of news overload in the comfort of my own home. Instead, I will set up shop at a friend's flat, preparing to offer unending commentary to anyone who will listen. Which is to say anyone who comes over with booze!

(will add photo tomorrow - looks like I am ignorant about how to get a picture off my camera. more techno teasing!)

Freezing and windless, choking grey and yello

Welcome to Budapest!

No wonder I didn't want to leave the house yesterday. Car ban in the city for 50% of the vehicles due to the adverse and unpleasant and downright unhealthy air quality! The thing is, at least in Los Angeles when smog levels reach fever pitch, you can go to the beach or complain about the heat. here, we are the huddled masses warming our hands like chestnuts over the radiators, complaining about the Russians and their gar wars.

Salvation on a stick!

T Online finally came through! And I only had to promise my 1st born and a batch of chocolate chip cookies (it's amazing what you can get away with here with American baked goods!) Anyhow, I am excited like an emoticon on skype. Mobile wireless anywhere in the country for a relatively reasonable (though high for Hungarian wages) price of $25 ish per month. A stick! That sticks out my computer and gives me the internet! And just in time for the season premiere of Lost! Makes up for the illusive cable television (though I still need to decide upon which friend's flat I will descend for Obama-fest next Tuesday since I can't wave my flags in the privacy of my own pyjamas.) My earlier point still stands tho. Cos I love that the only way to get online is to subvert any kind of expected infrastructure. Hmm, could it have anything to do with telecom monopolies and the hubris of the T, which owns the Hungarian mobile provider, and which is becoming the sole source of my communications with the outside world? I will investigate further!

Grapefruit Haters?!

See this. Such haters! I love all my citrus friends. And have a new-found appreciation for them now that my winter fruit take is reduced to oranges and pears - the stuff of central European January's. Coming from California, the bread basket of 'Merica, this is serious. Thankfully, I did find some grapefruits the other day so a hater I am not.

The photo here is a bountiful wintry display from my Saturday trip to market! to market! Yes, I carry that basket with me like a good babooshka.

(thanks David for the fruity link!)

Oh Happy Day!

My corner market Match! had a bitchin’ sale on the juice and I stocked up! My morning regime is comprised of at least one glass of 100% multivitamin, but with the sale and all, I went hog-wild and am dipping my toes into the more esoteric (and sugary!) flavors of pear and black current. Oh happy day indeed!

What about the babies in Bulgaria??

If anyone has been closely following the latest gas wars in Europe, it wasn’t looking good for Team Keep Warm in Hungary until the Austrians came to the rescue earlier today. Hungary, like much of the region, gets about 2/3 of our gas supply from Gaszprom, the Russian state owned gas company. The Russians are fighting with the Ukranians (where all the Russian gas that goes to Europe is piped through) over how much money, if any, the Ukranians owe the Russians for the gas, and how much they should pay for the coming year. It’s messy. And as a result, Russia says screw you and turns off the gas, punishing the Ukraine and most of Europe. And it’s cold. Real cold. This is bad. And the babies in Bulgaria! They are suffering! Ok, not to make light, but really, this headline...in the Times? I can hear the audio version with the news anchor wailing pleeeeeeeease, what about the babies!

Relatedly, it's a good thing Hungarians still like their fur coats.
It’s true! I’ve never seen so much variety of pelt. It would give me the creeps except that I find it amusing that you will see both the overly done up 30 something ladies that look 45 to me and the nice old humble ladies all sporting their full length stripey (rabbit?) furs on the subway. The subway!

Ok, and some real news related to this ever-disturbing and yet unresolved issue...There are far better articles than this from Wired, but this one links to some good sources. Brrr!

Sika! Finnish for pig, pork-like, or cheap bastard!

This video made me smile. (from N. Ala-Fossi)

The many faces of the word 'sika' :

Älä ole sika! Don't be such a hog!Senkin sika! You're such a bloody pig!

Matti on maailman suurin sovinistisika. Matthew is the most chauvinist pig in the world.

Toi on sikahalpa! That's way cheap! (Here sika is used as a prefix to mean extremely. It can also be used in sikahyvä, sikahieno, sikasiisti, etc.)

Jouluna syödään sikaa. We eat pork at Christmas. Pork is eaten at Christmas.

Hän löi Pekkaa kuin vierasta sikaa. He hit Pekka as hard as possible without remorse. (This means that the person doing the hitting does it without caring about the consequences of how much it would hurt the other person.)

Sinä iltana löysimme hänet sikahumalassa. We found him dead drunk that night.

Äitini sanoi aina, että jos ostat jotain kuvaluettelosta, ostat sian säkissä. My mother always claimed that if you bought something from a mail-order catalog, you were buying a pig in a poke.

(translations from http://www.uta.fi/~km56049/finnish/words/sika.html)!

Why does cheese cost more than butter in Hungary?

Just asking...

"I'd say I have a great passion for macaroni and cheese in the box"

I have nostalgia for food in a box. I grew up on it. Didn't know that you could get mashed potatoes just from, well, mashing potatoes. I thought Betty Crocker had the key to the magical kingdom of mushy spuds. But I learned. I grew. I learned to love (and make!) things that were not just from a box. I learned it was okay (and cheaper!) to make rice that took more than a minute and that the exciting taste of cheese could come from actual cheese, not just powdery velveeta flavoring and yellow dye no. 3. I know! Though part of me feels I've betrayed my 1970s suburban heritage, I am happy knowing now the ways of the kale, basmati and yukon gold.

This is a video from someone who has take an opposite approach to his food. Clearly, a youth without Betty C. can lead to some box-lovin spoonfuls!

He is an enthusiasts enthusiast!

WATCH THIS CLIP!

"It always says dinner on the box...even though you can eat it for lunch!"

(courtesy of dlisted)

Damn thee Fritzbox!

So the provider of the, er, um, liberated - I mean borrowed - I mean knicked internet access decided to put a password on their wireless connection. Just like that! Totally shut down. And I was just starting to get in to my late night Melrose Place on you tube viewing (oh yeah, all the goods are there! But best to just cut to the chase with the Sydney ). But seriously, I'm not a thief to be cheap or sleazy, it's because there is no other option. Cable provider doesn't cover my area. And the rest say they have no server space for new customers, try again in six months. But Fritzbox was able to get on. Fritzbox wasn't there when I left internet-less in late August. And now Fritzbox has is showing no love. Marci tried to put a note (in Hungarian) in the hallway asking if anyone wanted to share the cost of internet by letting us on their party line. No takers.

Ya don't say?

End of the Anglican crown - 300 year bar to be lifted
Reforms would allow non-Protestant heir and end male priority

(I sometimes forget that the whole Catholic / Protestant thing really means something here in Europe! Does this mean Sinead O'Connor doesn't get to play at the next coronation? Because that would be a real shame.)

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/sep/25/anglicanism.catholicism1

Downing Street has drawn up plans to end the 300-year-old exclusion of Catholics from the throne. The requirement that the succession automatically pass to a male would also be reformed, making it possible for a first born daughter of Prince William to become his heir.

The proposals also include limiting the powers of the privy council, in particular its role as arbiter in disputes between Scotland or Wales and the UK government...

Ministers have long thought it anomalous that it is unlawful for a Catholic to be monarch but have not had the political will to risk reforming the law.

The 1688 Bill of Rights , the Act of Settlement in 1701 and Act of Union in 1707 - reinforced by the provisions of the Coronation Oath Act 1688 - effectively excluded Catholics or their spouses from the succession and provided for the Protestant succession.

Neither Catholics nor those who marry them nor those born to them out of wedlock may be in the line of succession.

The law also requires the monarch on accession to make before parliament a declaration rejecting Catholicism.

Though the Act of Settlement remains a cornerstone of the British constitution, critics have long argued about its relevance in the 21st century, saying it institutionalises religious discrimination and male primogeniture...

something ain't right in the water at the poe museum

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=98937585

If you aren't in the mood for NPR's forecasts for 09 (get your digital tv's ready!)

4:22 Year of Poe story starts. 2009 Edgar Allen Poe would have turned 200. "Oh Boy...It's a big year for us! We're gonna do it all year!" And we won't be outdone by that damndable Lincoln fellow!

But the REALLY scary reading from the Tell Tale Heart commences at 6:19. I remember reading this aloud as a class is school. I was always hoping (praying!) that I would get called on to read the really dramatic bits or sections with words like 'vexing' or 'sagacity' (just to show I could pronounce it). I would practice at home so I'd be ready but inevitable I always got to read the really straight stuff, never anything requiring such emotion as this enthusiast. She sounds like a rabid literary buff might if you ran into them in the woods. or Medieval Times.

Hazaa, she sayeth.

(ps - I had no idea there was a Poe museum in Philly - I totally want to go! http://www.nps.gov/edal/)

More online fun for Obama

It will be so sad when all the wacky hijinx come to a screeching halt when we start lambasting him for not pulling out of Iraq fast enough or the tools he floods the Oval Office with. But for now, let the love continue to manifest itself as such:

http://s172833490.onlinehome.us/__oneclick_uploads/2008/11/rolling.gif

When you see an icey Frapuccino, do you think product placement for Starbucks or am I projecting?

Of course the Irish love Obama

(btw, the t shirt has nothing to do with the post - it's the video clip below that made me laugh. But I felt the need for some kind of image and am too lazy to take a screen shot from the video...)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/us_elections_2008/7718583.stm

The obsession continues. Here is my new favorite ode to Obama. I still don't think anything will compare to the song I heard in a taxi cab in Accra, Ghana over the summer. I don't even remember how it goes now, only that it was some lo fi Afro-beat rap in praise of Obama. It was the first time I got a sense of how beloved he is on every continent. I know, I sound like someone who drank the Kool Aid. I did. And it was delicious!

There's so many more (drunken) tributes I want to ad so watch this space!

Best. Ad. Ever.

Who's scared of a little beaver down under? Some Australians with no sense of humor tried to get this ad banned. But the beaver has staying power. Apparently it's been on the air for some time but only just making the interweb rounds here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxkUE5TtOFQ

Ken Lee!

Admitedly, I became mildly obsessed with this clip, in all the nicest of ways. Chutzpah! And then the ken Lee phenom gets a life of its own!

River front dining

sadness befalls hungry grant writers
govinda closed?
my mission statement for a meatless cabbage ball!
take away please
to the statue's feet we go
eating
fried food and hari Krishna veggie delights
to bask in the Danube's murky brown glory
and bright flood lights
of Rosevelt Ter.

Critical Mass!

I miss my bike! This was the first time on a bike since January when I arrived and it was a bittersweet experience. Sour cherry soup. Ah the sweetness of the bicycle ride, the gentle breeze on my brow, the rhythmic gait of the circular motion. Spinning round. And around. Like the worst Def Jam poetry I try here to envoke. Bitter, like over-pickled cabbage, because it is such a short lived experience, over in the mere wink of an eye and fleeting in the power of the road that will soon be handed back to the nasty, ill-tempered and callous drivers of Budapest who care not for their two wheeled friends.

In short, I think biking really sucks in the city. It scares the crap out of me. And I always end up on bumpy roads that are quaint when rambling like a dumb ass American in Europe, but unpleasane when it makes a casual inner city ride bumpy enough to cause an early birth.

Nuff said. Here are some photos my friend and colleague Eva took. I don't know any of the people in the pictures til the end. But I'm sure they are nice.

Oh, the photo is of me and another friend and colleague Erich. We titled it: 'Guess the Yank in the photo!' Somehow, the memo about dressing wacky for critical mass must have gotten lost in the mail on the way to Central Europe. Either that or the internet tubes were plugged up again. Damn internet tubes.

I should also mention this was supposedly the Biggest Critical Mass Ride in the World on Earth Day 2007. Whatever. It was really fun!

I (heart) Ukranian drag

Read this. Totally the hotness! It's a darn shame all of the Ukraine doesn't agree. Oh well, the Eurovision must go on!